a thief is a thief is a thief

A few weeks ago, I was on a bus coming back from Siem Reap where I helped out on field day for the kids who are attending the summer program at the JPA school (jpa.org.kh). When the bus stopped at the first drop off point in Phnom Penh, at the French Embassy, a man got off. This particular man was holding a particular bag that did not belong to him. How do I know this, you may ask? Because it was my bag. I was distracting myself with memories of a photo exhibit last fall where the French Embassy had blown up beautiful pictures of trees and hung them on the white walls of the gate surround the embassy's compound... oh I do love a good picture of a tree. When I got a sinking feeling, I stood up and my instinct was right... my bag was gone.

Peace Corps was great at helping me. Markara, our Safety and Security Officer, had a very calming effect. I was upset for about 2 minutes... just long enough for everyone to get off the bus, including an old great-grandma lady who told me in khmer that I should keep my bags on my lap, not above my head... I grabbed her hand and wouldn't let go and kept saying, 'awkun' or 'thank you.' I needed a friend and wasn't in a place to be picky so if that friend wanted to state the obvious and make me feel even worse, who was I to judge? She didn't stay long however. Then I was alone. With my other bag. Or as I referred to it after this incident, 'the Bag with No Value.' So, I lost my money, credit card, debit card, ipod, lots of postcards and my Canon Rebel XT EOS that my mom and sister had given me as a going away gift... and an extremely lovely letter that I had written for a friend to take on the plane which I thought was particularly thoughtful and funny. Agg.

Funny thing though was that I wasn't mad at the thief... People asked me if I was angry and I just told them that I was angry at myself... The Cambodians around my house thought it was really funny when I suggested that maybe the thief had a very sick child who needed medicine and so he had to steal my bag to get it for her... but even I don't really believe it, but really it doesn't matter why he stole it. I wonder if he just wanted money, thinking I had some, what did he do with my camera? I'm not mad at the thief cause that is what thieves do... I'm a teacher so I teach, you're a reader so you read, he is a thief so he does as a thief does... he steals. Makes sense to me.

The Buddha once told his followers... one day a distraught farmer came to the group asking if they had seen his cows that he had lost, to which the Buddha replied that they had not seen the cows, and the farmer said, 'I am very sad because I have lost my cows, I don't know what to do,'... after the farmer left, the Buddha then turned to the group stating, 'We should give thanks for our luck because we do not have any cows to lose' (or something close to that, I wasn't there so I can't vouch for complete accuracy of the quote). People are always repeating this important lesson when they encouragingly say, 'Why not? You have nothing to lose.'

Visiting with my friend at his family's cafe in my small town, he told me about some troubles he was having. Somehow the subject of smiling came up and he said that he likes to smile at everyone when he sees them, he can't help it. He goes to the market and smiles at all the people there. Recently he was told that a lady who works in the market tells people that he is the same as a 'crazy person' or 'neak chagu-it.' In English, people call people 'crazy' all the time, but in Khmer it has a much stronger meaning. It is more literal... if you say someone is 'chagu-it' you are literally calling them mentally insane, and this isn't good. He is upset because he feels like she misunderstands him, or 'yuul jra-lum.' I told him to forget about her 'bad words.' He should not be sad or angry with her but instead he should pity her because she must be sad to say these things. People don't like feeling lonely, this includes being lonely in how they feel. I told him that if she is sad, then she says these things so she can have company in her sadness. I taught him the old axiom, 'Kill her with kindness.' I think he understood. It reminds me of what my dad once told me, 'Usually, the only people who try to make you feel bad about yourself are people who feel bad about themselves. So make them feel better and you'll feel better.'

People want company. I'm going to try and live by this thought... I'm going to try my best to be a thoughtful, joyful person. I do have to admit that for me sometimes it is easier said than done. With strangers it seems easier to do than with the people you love and care for, why is this? We need to practice being caring with even those people who know us best, our family and closest friends, the people who have seen us at our worst... to perfect this would be a wonderful thing.

Spread joy and kind words so that people will join you. I, for one, would much rather go to to a happy party than a sad one... so get out there and invite people to join you in your happy party... then you will have a lot of support and people around to lift you up when you have the occasional sad day... after all, nobody is perfect.